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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23765752">As a Tree Grows</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/poisontaster/pseuds/poisontaster'>poisontaster</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stargate: Atlantis</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Character Study, Gen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2008-01-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2008-01-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 18:13:24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,047</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23765752</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/poisontaster/pseuds/poisontaster</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>You do your job.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>As a Tree Grows</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Inspired by 4.13 (Quarantine), but contains no spoilers for that episode.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Katie and the new botanist Camay are wheeling the samples from PX-651193 to the main lab when the tremor hits, shaking Atlantis.  Dust shakes loose from the ceiling and Katie has to wonder how there always seems to be more dust.  Of course, ten thousand years with no maid service probably produced a lot of build up.</p>
<p>"What's that?" Camay's eyes are huge and her grip on the rolling cart is white-knuckled even through the rich bronze of her skin.</p>
<p>Katie considers.  No second tremor follows, at least not then and finally, she shrugs.  "I don't know."  Her heart's lurching a little hard against her ribs, but she brushes the flecks off her uniform shoulders.  "Come on, let's get these put away."</p>
<p>The 'please stay where you are' klaxon sounds about ninety minutes later, just as they're logging the last of the samples in and Katie's jotting notes on what kind of lights and soils she's going to have to requisition from Stores.</p>
<p>One of the flowerpots on the shelf above her head is tipping.  Katie stands on tiptoe and bats it back into place, running her fingers across all the pots to push them back a little from the edge.  She really needs to talk to Asuka again about making sure containers are set a safe distance from the shelf edges.  They lost almost all of the hornwort-ish Anthocerotophyta samples from PX-1825561 in the last Wraith attack and they haven't been able to get back to the planet since.  And, given the exploration schedule, they might never.</p>
<p>Katie sighs.  When she looks up, Camay is staring at her.  "How can you be so calm?"</p>
<p>"Calm?" Katie barks a laugh.  "The last thing I am is calm."  She holds out her hand so Camay can see the way her fingers tremble.</p>
<p>"But you…?"</p>
<p>Katie's mouth crooks.  "And what exactly do you think we should be doing?"  Camay opens her mouth to speak but no words come out and after a moment, Katie guides her to one of the lab stools.  "Look," she says kindly, "you met Rodney—Dr. McKay—when you came in, right?"</p>
<p>Camay's grimace is expected and familiar and Katie hides the urge to laugh even as she hears the heavy stomp of military-grade boots outside the lab.  Major Lorne pokes his head in.  "Everything all right in here, doc?"</p>
<p>Katie smiles at him, as she makes a point to smile at all the Marines.  "Yep, fine."</p>
<p>"Well, you stay put."  Unlike some of the other military guys, Katie's never felt that Lorne looks down on her for not being in peak physical condition or not being able to disassemble a P-90 in sixty seconds or less.  The order is terse but not unkind and she waves at him in reassurance.</p>
<p>"You didn't even ask him what was going on!"  Camay's tone sounds accusing.  She looks hurt when she turns back to Katie.</p>
<p>Katie sighs and hooks the next nearest stool with her ankle, pulling it close to perch next to Camay.  She scratches her eyebrow thoughtfully once she's settled.  "Look.  I know you probably got the same debrief I did when you volunteered for this.  The dangers involved, the risks, the SGC will do the best it can to guarantee your safety, but no promises…"  The thought of it now makes her want to laugh again.  She thought she was so prepared, coming here.  Camay nods hesitantly, not sure where Katie's going with this.  "And the thing is…all that stuff is true.  But what's also true is that it wouldn't make a difference if I asked Major Lorne what was going on."</p>
<p>"How can you say that?"</p>
<p>"You met Dr. McKay.  You met Colonel Carter and Lieutenant-Colonel Sheppard and the whole command staff.  Those are the people who are going to be making the decisions.  They're the ones who pretty much decide, every day, if all of us are going to live or die.  Me, you, Asuka, Parrish…we're the botanists.  Nothing we do is going to make a damn bit of difference one way or the other."  She catches Camay's look and waves her hand.  "I'm not underestimating the importance of the work we do.  I wouldn't be here otherwise.  But…okay, there have been a couple of plant-related disasters.  But other than that, all the crises and the drama…  You just have to learn to trust that Rodney—Dr. McKay—and the others will take care of it.  That they'll get us through.  And you do your job."</p>
<p>She thinks of the stories she could tell Camay; about Ford or Peter Grodin.  About Gall, who once made a pass at her at a dinner a lifetime ago in another galaxy; about Weir, about Heightmeyer.  She could tell Camay about the time she was stuck in one of the transporter rooms for six hours, fretful with fever that had almost kept her in bed for the day, but instead she'd decided to try and get some work done.  She could talk about how she worries about every dry-throat cough and stared-at-the-computer-too-long headache, taking her pulse and temperature a half-dozen times a day.</p>
<p>Katie could tell her, but Camay wouldn't <i>know.</i></p>
<p>Some things you have to <i>know.</i></p>
<p>"That sounds horrible!"  A new shockwave rocks the city and they both flinch.  "How…how can you stand that?"</p>
<p>Katie shrugs.  "I trust them to do their jobs, just like they trust me to do mine."  She considers.  "And I pray.  And I keep myself busy as I can so I don't have time to worry whether we're all going to die in the next few minutes."  She gets up and pats Camay on the shoulder.  "Welcome to the Pegasus Galaxy, kid."</p>
<p>The samples from PX-651193 have all been logged and labeled.  Katie starts restacking them on the cart to be moved into the one of the smaller bays where they've set up comparable planetary conditions.  The chatter over her comm is agitated, command cutting in and out between their secure channel and the 'all-hands' chit-chat.  Katie chants the Discourse On Loving Kindness to herself in counterpoint, thumbing dust from the leaves as she goes.</p>
<p>After several moments, Camay rises from her stool to join Katie.  Her hands shake, but she doesn't drop a single thing.<br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Here begins the ramble. There were things I liked (loved) about Quarantine and there were things I liked less so. But the thing that struck me in watching it is the peculiar agony of being a botanist (or similar) on Atlantis and how that forces you to alter your philosophical ground in regard to ability to safeguard or guarantee your own fate.</p><p>I mean, when it comes down to it, the majority of the civilian-scientists are (presumably) aware of the dangers of the Pegasus Galaxy, but I don't know that they understand the powerlessness of their position until it's forced upon them. I mean, the people we know and love (Weir, Carter, Sheppard, McKay, Teyla and Ronon) are all part of the command structure, as are characters like Lorne, Radek, etc. They're on the front lines. When decisions are made, they're at the top levels and they are active participants in the decisions that are made regarding the various dangers the Lanteans encounter. They know what's going on and they contribute toward the solutions. Even someone like Keller generally has a working knowledge of what's happening, if only because she has to treat the consequences.</p><p>Whereas the civilian-scientists really have no place in the problem-solution matrix (unless, by chance, the problem happens to involve their specialty). They may or may not know what's going on, other than "something bad". They probably have no idea what's being done to solve the problem. And until Weir or Carter or whoever announces an 'all clear', they probably don't have much idea when it's over or whether they won. Personally…I don't know if I could live under those circumstances. Like Rodney, I have a need to know what's happening around me and to be doing something toward a solution. But obviously, like Katie Brown, there are those who do. And so I was interested to explore what kind of mindset that creates. I feel uncertain about how well I accomplished that, but it's still fun to think about.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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